It must really suck if you just got a car wash and some bird decided to poop on your newly washed car. It happened to me before and boy was it maddening! What's even sadder is that it was the first time I encountered such dirt on my car that I had no idea how to clean it.
Believe it or not, this could really stain your car and if you don't know how to remove bird poop from a car, you'll end up scratching your vehicle and would have to suffer from its terrible smell. Been there, done that!
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Since I have experienced dealing with it, I would be selfish not to share with you how you could get rid of bird poop yourself. The first thing that you must know is that you need to get it out as quickly as possible. Why? Because the damage could even be seated deep if you don't act on it immediately.
Prerequisites:

- Sponge
- Pail of water
- Garden hose
- Water
- Foaming lance
- Foaming soap
- Car shampoo
- Microfiber towel
- Wash mitt
- Car polish
- 3000 grit sandpaper
Step-By-Step Approach on How to Remove Some Bird Feces from Your Car.
Pre-Foaming

This process will easily lift up those nasty bird poop from your car without having to apply pressure. You have to keep in mind that you cannot leave any dry residue of the chemical that you will use for cleaning because that will damage your car.
This is why pre-foaming is a must because it could prevent any cleaning chemicals to dry out fast. What you will need is a foaming lance to get it started.
Pre-Spraying

This is still technically a part of the pre-foaming procedure but this is when you will add the foaming soap or substance in your hosepipe or foaming lance.
Pre-spray the affected area with an all-purpose cleaner and make sure that it is well diluted. The cleaner will help a lot in breaking down the dirt, which in this case is a bird poop.
Rinsing

You can use a garden hose or Rv sewer hose with a good amount of pressure for the water to come out when it is time to rinse the foam off.
Shampooing

Soon as you remove all residue from the cleaning product that you use along with the bird poop, it is time to shampoo your car.
A specific shampoo for cars could be bought online or from your local stores and hardware. Shampoo the car thoroughly using a wash mitt. You need a mitt to make sure you don't scratch the surface of your car.
Rinsing Again and Drying
After shampooing, you can now rinse it the same way you did earlier and dry your car using a microfiber towel or a gym towel is also a good option. It is a must that you use this specific kind of towel because it is soft and there is no way it could damage your car.
Other towels have harsh materials on their fabrics so don't make a mistake of using those.
Polishing

Once everything is washed and dried, polishing your car is the next step. Buy a polish product that would erase the etching marks should there be any that were caused by the birds and their feces.
Once again, you will need to use a microfiber towel or a sponge when you apply the polish. Apply it in a circular motion and make sure that you buff your hands off each time you're done with the polish. Repeat a couple of times more if you think it still needs more restoration.
Re-Polishing
Usually, the first coat of polish would already do it and restore the car's surface.
However, if it was really that bad that you can still see some shadows or remnants of the bird poop, you could apply a more abrasive polish. I would suggest getting some polishing machine to bring back your car's image to its glory days.
If you can't get a hold of a polishing machine, then I supposed you have no choice but to do it manually with your hands. I have to warn you that it could be a little bit painful for the arms, but the result is worth it.
Wet Sanding

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You will need a 3000 grit grade paper that is soaked in water or you simply have to make it sure that the surface is wet enough that the sandpaper won't damage your car. This part is crucial and you will need to be extra careful.
That said, only wet the surface that you will sand if you have a polishing machine. It would be impossible to remove the marks from sanding it if you don't have access to it after you are finished.
Additional Tips
- Make sure that the bird poop that fell on your car have not dried for a long time because you would need professional help once this happens. Using an abrasive polish material won't even work at this point. So as much as possible, pre-foam the surface of your car before the feces gets all dried out and you have to it as quickly as you can.
- If the bird poop were found on the glass part of your car, you’d need to buy a glass polish for it. The same thing goes if bird poop were found on metals or chrome. This means that you must find a polish that serves well for these materials. Don't worry because they are all available online or in your local shops.
Conclusion:
To remove those nasty bird droppings from the surface of your car could be easy with the instructions I gave you here. As long as you have the right product and you act on it before the bird poop even dried out, then it is safe to say that you will have your car back on its original form without needing to hire a professional to do it for you.
It is also still best that you keep a polishing machine so you won’t have to do things manually, which not only could take a lot of your time, but it is also extremely tiring.